Most of my friends, they achieved real good results academically or in co-curricular activities and traveled around having pleasant moments. Some of them are done with studies, having stable financial status or built up their own business.
How about me? I don't know. I just know I risk myself a lot.
I'm 20. I'm a school dropout. I spent 2 years having no achievement in academic, yet failing the entire course then got withdrew from the university.
I'm 20. I used to webcam with strangers, male or female, for friends, ended up got tricked and blackmailed for 500 USD as they recorded me and edited me into a disgraceful video.
I'm 20. The money I spent in cybercafes and games able to cover 1 and a half or two semesters' course fees, i think.
I'm 20. The time that I wasted staying awake in the midnight doing nothing, emo, daydreaming, gaming, net-surfing, might able help me to generate wealth.
I'm 20. I am still not sure about my future, how I'm going to compete without a certificate, without any skills.
I'm a bad role for the young ones. Yeah, I think it is a really negative lifestyle that no one will teach the younger generations.
Recall back in time, when the Head of Programme told me that I'm not suitable for these courses, informing that I need to leave right after that day as my quota has finished, to be honest, I feel nothing at that time. What in my mind was, leave then leave lo, i am that stupid i know a, you think i want a? Then I left.
Lots of things happened in this 4 months.
Now, I am glad that I used to have that kind of mindset or experiences which differ myself from the crowd.
Yet I am still unsure about my future, but no worries, we spent the entire life seeking who we are and only find out when we're going into the coffin. So just live life fullest. I believe many has listen or read a lot of inspiring quotes or stories, but how many really apply them in life? You, yourself know. To be honest, i read some, i bookmarked them, so? I'm so eager to make changes of myself but never done it. I'm still in comfort zone. But after these days, I dont know if I have change my point of views but I know I have ambitions.
Since my past 2 years have been slightly different from the other same age people, I'm going to continue to be different from today onward. Now I say so much, those who know me may say, "cheh, last time he said this also, he very fast go back to the same pattern one la". Haha, I also can't confirm. I just know I have no choice but to strive slightly harder than usual because I have no proper academic certifications, by thinking out of the box or even more. Surprisingly, I enjoyed reading and learning new random stuffs nowadays, I couldn't believe also. Maybe this is the power of ambition/dream.
20 years old is now a number for me and I decided to make an end for it. I think, today is the day. Today is the day for me to stop being a teenager. I had spent so much time enjoying my teenage life and is enough! It is enough of fun! I just get rid of those who pulling me from moving forward day by day and today I just did something I couldn't do before, which is uninstalling Dota 2, a game which I played since primary 3. This time, is for my future not my temporary off from exams or others. It is enough. Good bye, the old Simson. We will never meet again. (is not only for gaming of course, with other aspects)
I might be slow, but is ok as I am not standing still.
This life would be harsh, but I know I'll enjoy. This is an output battle. I have no fear.
I would give all the glory to the Lord as He gives me opportunities in exposing myself in these occasions, yet providing me strength to move forward to inspire or to be inspired.
I want to represent an idea. I want my life, I want my work to mean something, I want the world to be better because I was here.
